No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The Olympian is in my bed
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
