The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Damn victory sex feels great
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
