Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
