My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
