Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
