ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
