Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
