hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
