I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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