Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
