Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
