He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
