i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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