Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
