Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
