I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
