we're blogging at a bar
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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