She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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