He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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