I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
