sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
