so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just gargled with NyQuil
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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