is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
