when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
