Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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