Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
