youre lurking in front of me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
