Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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