In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
