a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
