no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
