I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
