If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
