I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
false alarm, still single
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
