Me. At least after what I've been through.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im holly from the hills drunk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
