He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it's like iHOP with fire
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
