The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
