that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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