Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would fuck him just for his dog
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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