ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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