I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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