Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
