I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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