it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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