why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am one with the molecules
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
