So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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