he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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