I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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