you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
