Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
