I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize